I just finished watching Breaking Bad. I know, I am a bit behind the curve here but I prefer to binge watch those types of shows and that's what I did. I watched and watched and watched and eventually got to the finale. The good news - I could totally join the DEA with all the knowledge I've gained Googling themes in the show. The bad news - I'm sure I will be arrested soon because of those same searches. B
efore the men with the fancy bracelets show up, I thought I'd share a revelation I had while watching. One I can attribute directly to my Breaking Bad friends who spent a lot of time tracking each other. Here it is: If you attached a GPS unit to the bumper of my car and then later analyzed the data, it would be very boring indeed. I go the same places - all the time. I take the same route. I park as closely as I can to the same spots. I drive home the same way. The exact. Same. Way. I moved to this city 15 years ago. I can remember how hard it was to figure out where I was and where I needed to go. Many times I would have to pull over, get out of the car and look for the 1,042 foot public television antenna that was somewhat near my apartment. Only then could I reorient and head home. Eventually, I figured it out. I started to understand the loops and the roadways and what led where and to never ever get on Belinder Ave. And for a while I tooled around the city finding new things confident I could find my way back. I was no longer unsure or frustrated. I discovered malls and movie theaters. I met people at bars and coffee shops. I took random drives and meandered home. I was in a groove. And I loved it. But now, years later, I've come to a realization - I've been in this groove for a very long time. I rarely leave my groove. My groove is more than easy, it's more than comfortable, more than familiar. It's not just the routes I take around town, it's nearly everything. I run the same paths. I eat the same meals from the same restaurants. I shop at the same stores. I make my money the same way. I react the same way to frustrating people. I tell myself the same things I always have. The groove is beginning to feel different. What once was effortless and straightforward, now feels undemanding, unchallenging and simple. And, honey, I don't do simple. The painful truth: My groove has lost its groove. In fact, my groove has become a rut. And I have a burning desire to not stay here rotting in my rut. I need to change it up. Get uncomfortable. Drive a different way to a different store and park across the street. I need to challenge my thinking about familiar things. Ineed to get comfortable with being uncomfortable again. "A rut is merely a grave with both ends knocked out." - Zig Ziglar Until next time, Be awesôme.
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October 2016
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