I just finished watching Breaking Bad. I know, I am a bit behind the curve here but I prefer to binge watch those types of shows and that's what I did. I watched and watched and watched and eventually got to the finale. The good news - I could totally join the DEA with all the knowledge I've gained Googling themes in the show. The bad news - I'm sure I will be arrested soon because of those same searches. B
efore the men with the fancy bracelets show up, I thought I'd share a revelation I had while watching. One I can attribute directly to my Breaking Bad friends who spent a lot of time tracking each other.
Here it is: If you attached a GPS unit to the bumper of my car and then later analyzed the data, it would be very boring indeed.
I go the same places - all the time.
I take the same route.
I park as closely as I can to the same spots.
I drive home the same way.
The exact. Same. Way.
I moved to this city 15 years ago. I can remember how hard it was to figure out where I was and where I needed to go. Many times I would have to pull over, get out of the car and look for the 1,042 foot public television antenna that was somewhat near my apartment. Only then could I reorient and head home.
Eventually, I figured it out. I started to understand the loops and the roadways and what led where and to never ever get on Belinder Ave. And for a while I tooled around the city finding new things confident I could find my way back. I was no longer unsure or frustrated. I discovered malls and movie theaters. I met people at bars and coffee shops. I took random drives and meandered home. I was in a groove. And I loved it.
But now, years later, I've come to a realization - I've been in this groove for a very long time. I rarely leave my groove. My groove is more than easy, it's more than comfortable, more than familiar. It's not just the routes I take around town, it's nearly everything.
I run the same paths.
I eat the same meals from the same restaurants.
I shop at the same stores.
I make my money the same way.
I react the same way to frustrating people.
I tell myself the same things I always have.
The groove is beginning to feel different. What once was effortless and straightforward, now feels undemanding, unchallenging and simple. And, honey, I don't do simple.
The painful truth: My groove has lost its groove. In fact, my groove has become a rut.
And I have a burning desire to not stay here rotting in my rut.
I need to change it up.
Drive a different way to a different store and park across the street.
I need to challenge my thinking about familiar things.
Ineed to get comfortable with being uncomfortable again.
"A rut is merely a grave with both ends knocked out." - Zig Ziglar
Until next time,